ANOMALies WANTED

Anomalies May Not Be Common But They're Always Needed, Even In Heartbreak!

RED + BLUE FLORAL PANTSUIT: PRETTY LITTLE THING

HAIR: ME

GRAPHICS: THE JAZZMINE BRAND

I've had the esteemed pleasure of being single for a long time now (said with ALL SARCASM). I've experienced A LOT. I understand love and relationships rather well despite the fact that I don't ever seem to be in a "real" one. There are multiple reasons why I'm single and I'm going to elaborate on them today simply because my little "ANOMAlies" title is super creative to me and I had no idea what I was going to write about until I typed that by sheer accident. I suddenly felt a subliminally creative way to talk about this that will amuse me if not for long at least for the remainder of this post. For all the women that identify, for the next 180 seconds we will toast to our similarities. Plus my graphic designer "The Jazzmine Brand" did a really dope job editing these pictures so I needed something to talk about and until you have the clout of a Vogue or MarieClaire writer, talking about Power Pantsuits is not a draw, (wrestling reference, sorry) its not clickbait (better? lol).

PROBLEM #1: my appearance tends to give off "big booty hoe" VIBE LOL

A recent experience where a man was super honest with me made me realize he gave me the insight into why I have a lot of the complications that I've had. I received an invite (yea Ima tell it) from someone I used to really like. They were crystal clear that they liked me but have no desire for a relationship so they just wanted to sleep with me and was I coming? I'm delighted to report that I stayed in my bed by myself (rough decision because I am human). I was a tad upset because this was someone who at one time liked me. The more I laid there agonizing over it the more I realized that he gave me an in-depth look at the last few relationships I've had. His approach from jump was that there was always this crush on me (and that's something I've heard A LOT recently) and he never thought he would have a shot but now he did so he was taking it. The problem is that though I am super grateful for my shape and weight, it a lot of times complicates my life. When I'm looked upon all visual senses are stimulated and based on where I'm blessed the goal is really just to get inside me (yea I said It). There is never even a possibility in their minds that they would ever like me because apparently "girls like me" are not who you solidify we are just who you screw. The kink in the chain is that I'm actually a bit of alright (Austin Powers reference, again sorry LOL), I'm just a little dope (better?)...... ya know....... maybe. Therefore I ruin the plan because what's supposed to be a fling actually turns into a thing. This is why a few of them really did love me and I know they did but they couldn't commit to me because they weren't ready and didn't think there would be a desire to. When I was approached it was already believed that it wasn't going to amount to anything. I was the stuck up (because I mind my business) girl with the Big Ol' Booty (and she takes a bow). So I go through this thing where they're here today gone tomorrow because they can't conform to the idea of taking me seriously because they weren't adequately prepared but they can't stay away because something is real. The other problem I face is I NEVER FIT the prototype they drew up for what "the one" was supposed to look like, talk like and be. I am the anomaly. A great big inconveniencing anomaly.

GRAPHICS: THE JAZZMINE BRAND

PROBLEM #2: married men love me.

Thanks to be to GOD I RUN FROM THEM but it is incredibly frustrating to see the outpour for me from men who are off limits and the ones that could have me are silent and inconsistent. There is such a settling and political thing going on with marriages now. They are business decisions and political chess moves. Love is not a factor or concern and not for nothing but attraction is also usually at a minimum. Its about common goals and desires that are bigger than love and if you wanna jack your life up in that way then by all means be my guest. The issue however becomes that when they stumble upon me (and women like me) they realize that the fantasy was real and achievable so we become the target of attention that has adultery type potential and the extra fun thing is if you wanna do the right thing you have to choose alone-ness or be hemmed up in some mess. (and let me be clear I am no angel, I've been in the middle of mess but I didn't know and people lied. They are dang near their own novels in each instance lololol but I'll follow that paper trail to the inevitable bag another time) Not only that but the truth of the matter is you deserve devoted love and someone who is going to try as hard as you. Unfortunately sometimes getting what you deserve means a lot of alone time waiting on what you merit.

Now of course their are those men who are just serial fornicators and got married with every intention to keep doing them but we're not referring to those infinity migraines.

GRAPHICS: THE JAZZMINE BRAND

All of this to say that to some of you this will be an "Give Me A Freakin Break, You're Not That Important" Moment and if that is you, Thank You for your click. Then there are some who will read this and pretend I have 0% idea what I'm talking bout when you really know that I'm 100% right, you just don't want me to know it, and to you I say thank you and please keep coming back to see what other unspoken commandments I know about.

Alas then there are those of us who know exactly what I'm talking about and you are just glad to know that it's not just you. Sometimes there's comfort in the fact that although it's as bad as you thought, it's good to have company in Hells waiting room.

If when we're approached the thought is Ima hit that and I'm out or Ima only hit that with nothing else attached and you make them reconsider or even ruin their intention that means you're an anomaly. The funny thing is when you're one or when they're referenced they make you feel like they're such a special thing and the fact of the matter is you're so rare that no one knows how to approach or deal with you and all the things that speak on how wonderful it is to be one makes you feel like all you've heard are indeed AnomaLIES (and you'll consider that maybe I'm just freakin nuts like they say). Apparently most things or people that resemble you are a certain way and you're different, you're not like the rest and though that will NEVER stop the pain of living this over and over, you can at least smile in knowing there is a place for you and its called Anomaly Street..... You're special and you're needed and although it hasn't done anything other than make your life complex, I promise it's gonna pay off!

WELCOME HOME! xoxoxoxo