MOTHERS DAY MISERY

STORIES ON THE STREET.....AND THEY AREANOMALIES

GRAPHIC: THE JAZZMINE BRAND

CLOTHING: MISFIT MAKINGS

SIREN SOUND.......... sooo freakin annoying "Guess I should get up"

. She checks her phone and there are messages that she doesn't have energy to read. While grateful for the concern this day needs to be treated as any other.

"I won't be on social media today because I refuse to torture myself" she says out loud while sitting on the edge of her couch where she slept. She gets up and walks to her room feeling some strength as she has mentally prepared for this day. No need to be shocked or just decide you're just gonna be miserable, you prepare for days like this. Is her thought process and she continues down the hall to her a room and stands in front of her messy closet.

"GOD...... I really don't feel like getting dressed today. I ought to go in there like this, at least it would match how I feel." While thinking this she is simultaneously thinking about how she never ever once saw her mother look a mess and then what she would say if she saw her looking one and a smile cracked her face.

"Alright Mommy this one is for you today but I need something that I can wear to this play and then go straight to work from there......I should've done this last night cause this is a task. Nevertheless we need to be "play" fly and work "appropriate"......never a dull moment Sis".

GRAPHIC: THE JAZZMINE BRAND

CLOTHES: MISFIT MAKINGS

Ya know, most people find talking to yourself to be a sign of insanity. I personally find that people who don't talk to themselves are nuttier than I. You'll find that you can make a fine therapist and I recommend you start today. Just a note from the narrator and author but lets continue with the story.

She looks at a pair of pants that she hasn't worn in months due to the fact that she put on weight and the pants began to peel. Unfortunately now she has lost so much weight that the pants now are kind of baggy. While kind of happy that she can get in her faux leather joggers, mainly because she didn't want to look for another outfit, she also is not overly thrilled with the grief that has resulted in weight loss nevertheless an outfit was born. Black Joggers, graphic tee, white blazer with leopard at the end of the sleeves and leopard shoes.

"I'll throw my sneakers in the car and I'll wear them to work" with a finger perched against her lip like her mother she continues her monologue with her stamp of approval "yea that will work." She jumps in the shower, does her makeup and hops in the car. Feeling a little drained but with a decent amount of strength she's ready to support her God Children. In many different times of her life, all of her god kids have been the sunshine of her life so being there whenever she can is important. You may not always have the money to shower them with monetary forms of affection but your presence is free and a lot of times, more impactful.

That extra cool sound of rocks under tires echoes in the wind as she pulls in and parks at the school. "Lets roll sis". Strutting up to the door she proceeds to go in the building and as she gets to the doors of the auditorium she is struck by a sound that is very familiar to her and it paralyzes her. She gains the strength in her legs enough to walk forward after several seconds of shock. For if it is one thing she knows how to do, it is put on a poker face, her momma taught her that. She proceeds to her seat, only looking at her seat and ever so gracefully sits down. With her heartbeat in her throat but a calm in her eyes she looks up to the stage to confirm the horror she is hearing. As she raises her head the horror is confirmed on this her first Mothers Day without her mother GOD has found her worthy enough to behold the torment of gazing upon the stage and seeing her ex singing a duet and making believable googly eyes with a woman he cheated on her with.

Now my friends I know what some of you are saying: No biggie, so what.

But let me paint the portrait for you. When you are vulnerable and mourning you are on tilt and extremely sensitive to climate changes like a thermometer. The last thing you need is unexpected trauma. Sometimes you leave people not because you want to but because you have to so the love for them is very much so still there but you just have to decide to put you first which was very much so the case here.

GRAPHIC: THE JAZZMINE BRAND

CLOTHES: MISFIT MAKINGS

There she sat holding it together with popsicle sticks and super glue as two different kind of heartbreaks mixed together to make a cocktail of pain that she was gonna let sit as she refused to drink it. "This is real" she thought "they really had something going on all along" as the chemistry that you recognize when someone is or was yours and you see them interacting with someone else was displayed right in front of her face. As she goes spiraling down this black hole of emotions something pulls her out and puts a smile on her face. She was sitting next to one of her older God children and at the end of the play they said "We want to honor all of the mothers so please stand". Her God son said "you're a mom" she turned back and said "I don't have any kids" and his reply back to her was "you have me". At that moment she felt a coolness blow across her as she was reconciled back to the reality that the real purpose for being there was her God Children and that made all of it bearable and dare I say worth it. I say to you all, always keep the bigger picture in play and then keep it on repeat.

Until the next story on the street............................