MY LETTER TO MEN: BREAK NO PROMISES

DOESN'T MATTER HOW SMALL....SO LET ME HELP THE FEW MEN OUT WHO WILL READ THIS

GRAPHICS: HOUSE OF 10126

CLOTHING: MISFIT MAKINGS

I think any man who reads this blog would have to admit that I'm pretty freaking fair. I think men get a lot of unfair grief. And I am the advocate for the underdog. For a few of them it's not that they don't try it's just that their efforts don't read like ours because women and men legit have different wiring. I think most of the time we want the same outcome it's just the route is different. We also as women tend to want a more decorative way of getting to the destination. Men want the boat un rocked and want the most peaceful journey there is. Oddly enough I understand both sides and why each approaches it the way they do, a lot of times in order to comprehend you'll need to get out your feelings and listen to the reasoning of the other side. If you want to, you will get it you'll just have to get out of feeling like it has to be "your way". Chances are the other party means well and you'll just have to accept that knowledge as being sufficient enough. Again I will defend men and say that I think the world has brain washed women into believing that if a man loves you or is into you then he'll do whatever you want whenever you want. In that case you don't actually want a relationship you just want somebody you can control that will do whatever you want. Sis he's not your kid, he's your companion. But men that's where my defense stops for today so I hope you enjoyed it. And just know that I love you all.

There is something that I need men to understand and I'm legit saying this and writing this whole blog today because I need the few of you who read this to know. Anytime that you talk to your lady, someone you're messing with, talking to whatever.... When you tell that woman that you are going to do something you HAVE to do it. It does not matter how big, it does not matter how small. Your follow through game has to be undefeated. I am going to let you in on a little secret that women will never admit but it is the unadulterated truth so please listen and read carefully. Whenever you tell your woman that you are going to do something we begin to countdown til whatever it is. We are excited just at the announcement because our men are important to us. I'm going to give you two relevant examples and then I'm going on to write and work on another project cause sis has goals AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAmen.

You all were present for my blog a few weeks ago. It got a good response so my guess is most of you read it, if not backtrack a little. I believe I called it "Princess Brat". I was very optimistic about the situation I found myself in. That situation has since went to hell. He poured the lighter fluid and with a smile on my face, I lit the match AAAAAAAAAAAAAmen. It was something that simply could have been wonderful. It had real potential but when you fail on your follow through, I'm Out. I'm too old for games and I've wasted at least 17 years on people playing them so yea no.

The stipulation for being able to see me was that I would talk to this individual everyday. They knew from past experiences and time spent with me that consistent communication is the way to my heart so because it was understood that I was no longer interested in shenanigans' it was presented to me that we would talk everyday. Here's the freakin kicker, it wasn't me who said it, HE CAME UP WITH IT. And men here is what upset me about the complete lack of follow through. When I was unwilling to see him or even entertain his conversation he said things will change and we would talk everyday. This statement suggested to me that he knew what was important to me and because I was no longer interested in the tom foolery, he was willing to now step up because he knew I was serious and he didn't want to lose me. The thought of me riding off into the sunset and never looking back made him be like I can't let that happen. Now, you may think "she read way too much into that" but I would like to challenge you to do what I really try to do all the time and what women who want their relationship to work try to do all the time and that is LOOK AT IT FROM THE OTHERS PERSONS POINT OF VIEW. When you do that not with the idea of proving how stupid the others train of thought is but with the idea to genuinely want to understand, you'll get it. Re read what I said. I was DONE and he knew by my tone and my unwavering "NO". I didn't say if you wanna see me or want this to work then here's what you do, I said nothing and because he knew I was serious he was willing to now give me the easy priceless things that I desired that would have cost him nothing but commitment. Being that even after all of that he followed through on none of that and when I said something about it the response to me was "sis this a lot you know I'm busy" (whoo thank you lord.... unbelievable) I'm now under the impression that anything would have been said for them to get their way because they are a person who is rarely told no. I was lowkey hurt because I thought I had some weight in their life and instead they were just being manipulative. Wording it like that can you see why I was hurt? Can you see how she (the woman in your life) could be hurt by that? Even if I'm wrong and he really did mean well, women have to connect reasoning to actions so we're going to link one to your behavior so just make sure your behavior and intent match PLEASE!

Okay second example, you ready?

GRAPHICS: HOUSE OF 10126

CLOTHING: MISFIT MAKINGS

This is the one that really burns my biscuits and you all need to understand the reasoning so that you can do better. IF YOU oh lion cub of Judah, tell your girl that you all are going to do something, I don't care how straight her face stays and how un phased she may seem (because that is definitely me. I'm a reactional mute but disappointment did this to me). That woman is counting down from the time the words leave your lips until it coms to fruition. Whether you said we're going to get something to eat or we're going to go away or watch your favorite show on Netflix or something as simple as we're going to go get some ice cream. That woman is looking forward to whatever it is and counting down like it's New Years Eve and the God Dang Ball is about to drop in Time Square. Hear me and hear me well please. I am telling you that it does not matter how un official the plans may have been to you. She wants to believe that you care about her enough that you think before you speak so once it's out your mouth you meant it. IF YOU, OHH MEEK AND HUMBLE LION CUB, decide that you can't or you realize something has come up or that you forgot about a prior commitment do not dodge her on the day in question because you don't wanna hear her mouth. This makes us feel that you lied and then we begin to feel like idiots for believing anything that you said. Respect says that when the plans change you tell the person. I'll do you one better, it also creates trust issues. From recent experience I can tell you that if you tell the woman once you know you're not going to be able to keep with the plans, you WILL minimize the damage. Depending on how long you alert her before the actual time that you should have seen her you may need to reassure her that you really wanted to. And be okay with the fact that you may have to do that. After all she did get bumped whatever the reason from priority to 2nd so she kind of deserves that. Please do not be manipulative and make her feel like it is her fault that you can't spend the time with her or that it's her fault that she's upset. You're breaking your word, that's not on her it's on you. Don't manipulate her for what you did because you don't like being or don't ever believe that you are (ever) wrong. And if you are able to, give a subsequent option. Chances are she just wants to spend the time with you. If you two live together chances are she just wants to get out with you or for you to not just "be around her" but "focused on her". If you had to deviate from the original plan tell her put on some clothes take her to the park, hold her hand and tell her how pretty she is or how much you would have rather spent the time with her or you just wanted to see the star light shine on her pretty face. I recently had plans with an individual and the plans were unobtainable. The second they knew that they told me that we wouldn't be able to do what we planned but we could still hang out and just get something to eat at their crib and you know what? That was 100% fine with me. They didn't wait til the day of while I'm sitting around waiting they told me as soon as they figured it out. And because I have all this experience with inconsiderate men I so appreciated him for respecting me enough to inform me of the change of plans that there was no way I was going to make it an issue. Some of these issues you all try to avoid are only an issue because of your avoidance.

Fellas we just wanna feel like we matter. Even when you have to disappoint us if you reassure us that we matter there will be no issues......unless you have a princess brat, in that case God Speed Lion Cub.

PS

Isn't it amazing how I can write about my love life and the disasters thereof and post it in plain sight and the subjects never ever see it or notice because they don't nor did they ever support me. #yeaNo #nolongerdoingthateither